How the Manny Trade Went Down

Before I give you all my insider information about what took place today when the Red Sox traded Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers, I want everyone to know that I feel good about this trade. It was time for Manny to go. His act was tired, but I will miss Manny. Good luck in your future endevors!
Ok, now to my insider info. This is the actually transcript from his this trade actually happened:

Ned Colletti:"Theo, Hey! This is your buddy Ned! Have I got a deal for you!"

Theo looks confused and goes to hang up the phone.

Ned:"Wait...wait! I am real GM, don't hang up!"

Theo: "Hold on, I got 10 teams on the other line. I am going to have the first 10 team trade"

Ned waits and sings Broadway shows tunes and a little Cher.

Theo: "Crazy. The deal fell through. What ya got for me?"

Ned: (giddy) "I already talked to Pittsburgh, they are willing to send us there top prospects, as long as you send them some top prospects too."

Theo: "Good. Good. At least there are 3 teams involved. Any of these teams from Japan?"

Ned: "Where's Japan? That in Canada? Canada's south of Hawaii, right? I love the country of Hawaii. Beautiful snow fall. What...where am I? Anyway...so then you send us Manny and $7 million. And after you have unloaded all that you get Jason Bay!! What a steal!"

Theo: "Let me consult with Billy Beane...I mean my computer."
He presses some buttons on a keyboard and out comes printout that says, "What Would Paul Depodesta do?"

And he knew what to do at that very second!

Theo: "DEAL!...it is great doing business with you!"

Theo hangs up, lets out an evil laugh and says, "Larry! You can come out of your cage now. Get me my Gorilla suit! we need to hold a press conference to announce the most important trade since Babe Ruth was traded for an off Broadway musical."

Yankees GM Brian Cashman smiles to himself about this crazy trade deadline.

Brain Cashman: "I cannot believe that Ned just called me and offered me Jason Bay for top prospects, $25 Million and AROD. Who would ever make a deal like that?"

For my 100th Post...

I thought that everyone could use a laugh...



Thanks to Mangum to pointing me out to these guys on youtube! We all need a good laugh!! (Especially Sean and James...Red Sox fans need to laugh right now :( )

I Promised...

Not to complain about the Red Sox and I am not going to. I am just going to say that I am glad that they have decided to collapse earlier this year than they did in 2006.

Wow

So, I didn't go to bed. I stayed up for all 15 innings. Pretty stupid seeing that I have to be at work soon, but still worth it. Worth it cause the AL won, but even more worth it cause a Red Sox won the MVP! Congrats to JD Drew, and congrats to all Red Sox fans who can now add this to their list of favorite yankee stadium moments. Fantastic.

On a side note, congrats to Spencer Mangum for picking up the ever important +1 for getting The Wedding Singer reference in recent post. +1 can get you a lot things these days...like one whole Schrute Buck!

I am so glad...

That I decided not to live blog the all star game. This is long and I have to go to work early. Good night baseball.

I hate Yankee Fans

Tonight is the night...

When Wade Boggs officially died in my eyes. I have never been that angry about him playing for the yankees and even watching him ride around the horse after they won. But tonight, oh tonight, when all the Hall of Famers were on the field to start to the All-Star Game he crossed the line. All the former players were wearing the hats they went into the Hall of Fame with: for instance Dave Winfield wore the Padres Hat, not the Yankees hat. But Wade Boggs wore his ugly, nasty yankee cap. He is in the Hall of Fame as a Red Sox. I hope that the Sox never, ever invite him back to Fenway. Boggs, you are officially dead to me and forever a Devil Ray.

Some Great Acting...

To take everyone into All-Star Break!

Pinch Sitter

It was nice to see Manny watch the ball go past him 3 times in a row last night. Just what Francona ordered. Here's your new Red Sox pinch sitter!

Happy 4th!

Yesterday, Thom, Amy and I spent the 4th of July the best way you possibly could. Watching the Red Sox beat the Yankees at yankee stadium. First of all, our seats were fantastic. Thom called in a favor and we sat on the first base side, 3 rows up. Amazing. It started off the slow for the Sox, but as the game when on things started to look up. After Johnny Damon forgot to close his glove to catch the ball (of course he did slam into the fence), the Sox tied the game at 3. Then good ol' Mike Lowell hit a huge 3 run homer and that put them up for good. A beautiful 6-4 victory that helped up to us to celebrate our countries birthday.
Some observations/favorite moments from the game:
1) Johnny Damon cannot read. Atleast not well. Before the game they have taped segments with players of the yankees telling the fans to enjoy the game, not go onto the field and also where they are. (because most yankee fans have no idea where they are at anytime) It was Damon's job to let the fans know they were at yankee stadium. I wish everyone could have seen this, but OH...MY...GOSH! Wow...this could not be a bigger loser.

2)Early in the game and 7 year old boy jumped onto the field to pick up a foul ball. I am serious. Right in front of us, he just jumped onto the field. And he got the ball! And then the security came and took he and his father away because it is kind of against the rules. They did not end up ejecting him,even though derek jeter told the fans over and over again that it was against the rules. How can you not listen to jeter? I mean that guy walks on water, turns water into wine and other blasphemous things. But, it was awesome. That is not something you see everyday.

3) Yankee fans are not smart. And the more they drink, the less intelligent they become. I have a good amount of friends that are great people and very smart. But, for the most part, they make Johnny Damon look like Bill and Ted. (cause you can't make damon look like Socrates or Abraham Lincoln) They continue to wear shirts that they "See you 86 Years" and "Got Rings?" and "Got Melkey?" and "Bahston Suck" and "Why did I fail my GED test?" (the last one is not true, but they should) All I wanted to say to all of them was, "Drink more and drive home." (if you get that reference give yourself a +1)

4)The officials of security for the stadium of the yankees are morons. Seriously. They yelled at people for moving over 1 seat. There was much foul language going on around us, another thing that jeter mc'perfect told us not to do, lots of Red Sox Suck chants and other uncreative things, but when a Yankee Sucks chant started in the 9th (something I did not join, because it is lame) and the security STOPPED the chant! Apparently cap'n derek "never makes a mistake and is the greatest human being to ever live" jeter was only talking about Red Sox fans being vulgar. I love this game!

Anyway, go Sox!