How the Manny Trade Went Down

Before I give you all my insider information about what took place today when the Red Sox traded Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers, I want everyone to know that I feel good about this trade. It was time for Manny to go. His act was tired, but I will miss Manny. Good luck in your future endevors!
Ok, now to my insider info. This is the actually transcript from his this trade actually happened:

Ned Colletti:"Theo, Hey! This is your buddy Ned! Have I got a deal for you!"

Theo looks confused and goes to hang up the phone.

Ned:"Wait...wait! I am real GM, don't hang up!"

Theo: "Hold on, I got 10 teams on the other line. I am going to have the first 10 team trade"

Ned waits and sings Broadway shows tunes and a little Cher.

Theo: "Crazy. The deal fell through. What ya got for me?"

Ned: (giddy) "I already talked to Pittsburgh, they are willing to send us there top prospects, as long as you send them some top prospects too."

Theo: "Good. Good. At least there are 3 teams involved. Any of these teams from Japan?"

Ned: "Where's Japan? That in Canada? Canada's south of Hawaii, right? I love the country of Hawaii. Beautiful snow fall. What...where am I? Anyway...so then you send us Manny and $7 million. And after you have unloaded all that you get Jason Bay!! What a steal!"

Theo: "Let me consult with Billy Beane...I mean my computer."
He presses some buttons on a keyboard and out comes printout that says, "What Would Paul Depodesta do?"

And he knew what to do at that very second!

Theo: "DEAL!...it is great doing business with you!"

Theo hangs up, lets out an evil laugh and says, "Larry! You can come out of your cage now. Get me my Gorilla suit! we need to hold a press conference to announce the most important trade since Babe Ruth was traded for an off Broadway musical."

Yankees GM Brian Cashman smiles to himself about this crazy trade deadline.

Brain Cashman: "I cannot believe that Ned just called me and offered me Jason Bay for top prospects, $25 Million and AROD. Who would ever make a deal like that?"